The Doctor is Out

I don’t know what to say about my friend at work, whose last day was today. The guy just gets it. Mid-20s, almost scarily intelligent; he can see through all the extraneous bits right to the core essentials of any idea, issue or topic. Insightful, thoughtful…and hilarious. I took to him instantly, and my first impression did not let me down. K came out to me about four months after I met him, and he was my first confidant. He is brilliant at helping me see things through a different perspective. He’s objective, so he calls me on my “bullshit”…and tells me when I should call K on hers. He always tells the truth, so I trust him equally when he’s on my side, or when he says, point-blank, “You fucked up.” (And even then…he’s on my side.)

I keep feeling sorry for myself because I’ve known him for just over a year and a half, and he’s going. I told him I feel I’ve barely scratched the surface with him. You know that analogy of people being like onions? You’re constantly peeling away the layers, and learning more and more? I said I feel I haven’t even peeled off the papery, dry skin yet, to get to the juicy interior. He laughed and said, “There’s really not that much there…I think you’ve seen pretty much all there is, honestly.” I doubt that!

I will miss him terribly, but he’s heading out west to an amazing adventure and a wide-open future. He’s thrilled to be going to live where he’s always dreamed of living, so I have to be happy for him. And I really am. I can’t wait to be able to say, “I knew him when…”.


Something lovely/something ugly

About the time I started this blog, I also went in search of a community or forum where I could meet and hopefully learn from people dealing with transgender issues, in the hope that it would help me with my tg daughter, K. And I lucked into a gold mine.

I went to Google and found Made a post in the “Introductions” section. And then was absolutely blown away by the outpouring of support! The people on those boards–at least, the ones I’ve encountered so far–are generous and understanding and nurturing. They’ve already helped me so much, just in feeling more positive and hopeful for the future.

What gets to me, though, is the fact that they find me somewhat of an aberration. There continue to be commenters who are complimentary about my attitude, about my wanting to educate myself to get more insights that might help me with my daughter. I pointed out that I was just a mom, just trying to understand my daughter better and support her, because I mean come on, she’s my child and I love her! The responses were all along the lines of that’s not the norm, most parents aren’t supportive, and some don’t even want to see their children anymore.

Again I learned that not all people think or feel the way I do. That sounds simplistic and I guess it is. I just want to believe it’s in our nature to be fiercely protective of our children, the way animals in the wild will kill to protect their young. We’re animals, too, and I just assumed we all had those same instincts. Learning there are parents who would turn their backs on their children at a time when the children need them most has really upset me. My children mean the world to me–they’re my reason for living. But not all parents feel that way. I know I saw this type of apathy from parents when I worked with the elementary school guidance counselor, so I’m not sure why I was surprised. I guess I have a hard time taking it in, so I have to keep relearning. Wish I didn’t. 😦